This post is a bit of different post for me & for Erratic Glamour but it has been playing on my mind for sometime now so I figured biting the bullet & writing it is the smartest move. Basically, I want to talk about health & fitness which has been done time & time again however I believe that everyone has a unique story to tell that people will take different things from.
A little bit of background before I get into it. Growing up I was never particularly comfortable or confident in my own skin. I was overweight, not hugely but I wasn't happy. Team this with jibes about my weight & being compared to my older brother who was skinny (now a muscly, healthy man) my self esteem was at an all time low. I wasn't happy with how I looked or who I was. No confidence to take part or speak up I hide behind a loud persona that eventually resulted in some of the loneliest years of my life.
Wanting to do something about my weight with a bid to gain a little bit of confidence in myself I embarked on a fitness DVD programme. Coleen's workout DVD, Davina, Charlie Brooks, Natalie Cassidy... the list goes one! I started to see results slowly but surely & people started to notice and I felt good about myself but I still wasn't there. Working out teamed with healthy eating was helping but it wasn't enough to help me with my self esteem. In September 2009, I moved to a new city into student halls for my first year of University. My exercise halted all together & my eating habits weren't exactly great - think late nights clubbing teamed with convenience food...
Jump to second semester second year. I joined the gym & re-found my love for working out. Joining the gym was terrifying but doing it was good for me, it scared me but I did it & guess what I survived! I had some more confidence from this but due to a bad relationship & some bad circumstances I lost this confidence. I knew I had to do something to get back on track if you aren't happy with something change it, right?
So I got back to the gym, got my motivation back & embarked once more on my healthy eating mission. One more jump, the last one I promise, to second semester fourth year. Following an injured back, my weight had creeped up every so slightly. I wasn't comfortable as I was but couldn't afford the gym so I searched out a cheaper alternative. I found loads of videos online from Tone it up, Tracy Anderson, Valerie Walters... loads. I started working out in my flat & taking runs when I wanted a little variety.
Doing this method allowed for me to work out anytime I felt like it, 8pm seems to be a prime time or early mornings for me - time I couldn't get into the gym. I adopted a healthy eating lifestyle with regular workouts resulting in more self esteem & confidence. This had an impact on all aspects of my life from university, friends, work...
It has been a long journey for me to feel comfortable in my body. Sometimes I still don't & it has resulted in a critical frame of mind with regards to my body & how I look but stopping the nasty little comments in my head is something I have to do myself. People will criticize you for loosing weight whether it be out of jealousy, spite or they simply don't think you need to but if you don't feel happy as you are then go for it, I say.